Are You a Circle or a Square?

Ride or die chick a chick that ain’t afraid to be down with her man she’ll do anything her man needs her to do.

 

Example: “We was fighting in the store and my girl was a ride or die chick.”

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ride%20or%20die%20chick

Are you a ride or die chick?  Will you hold your man down no matter the cost?  Before you answer that question, read this post.

 

loyalty the quality of being loyal to someone or something.

“Her loyalty to her husband of 34 years”

https://www.google.com/#q=Loyalty

 

By now, you’re probably wondering, “Why in the world is she defining words or phrases?”  Right? The reason I wanted to lead this post with those phrases/words followed by the definition, is because I want you to understand fully what they mean before we get into this.

 

A few weeks ago, I was so frustrated by a Facebook post one of my “Facebook Friends” posted that I had to post a Facebook rant.  Now, I usually keep my rants to myself and laugh at the Facebook foolery but this one post irked my nerves.  It was about some girl talking about how her “boo” was locked down  (imprisoned) and how she was loyal to him and she love him and “free boo boo.”  For those of you who are not educated in “hood terms”  “Free_insert name here_” is a term used when a friend or loved one is in prison for a crime they are usually guilty of committing.

 

Now, hood education to the side.  The reason this post irked my nerves is not because she wanted to free her boo, I have seen too many of those post to let that irk me.  It was because she labeled herself as a “ride or die chick.”  Why is that a bad thing you ask?  The reason that irks me is because chicks use this term as a reason to stay stuck on stupid.  Yes, I said it, STUCK ON STUPID!

 

I have seen too many post on social media sites or heard this phrase too many times referring to foolery.  Chicks are using this as a means to stay oppressed by some dude that usually has other women, usually referred to as “Side chicks” waiting for him or by his side.  I have seen too many women, young and old, use this terms to prove their loyalty to their men and to me it’s a cop-out.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I truly understand and agree with standing by your man.  Keyword, “your.”  I have a husband and we have been together for many years and we stand by each other through the good and the bad.  Keep in mind; we took vows before God to do so.  We did that because we love each other and we wanted to make that commitment under God.

 

Even thought I’m married, I am by no means stupid.  I will not ride for a man who is not committed to just me.  I will not ride for him if he is involved in anything illegal, jeopardizing himself, our family and me.  Hell no, I won’t ride for him if he wants me to be involved in his illegal activities and HELL-NAW I won’t ride for him if he asks me to “hold something” for him.  I’m not into hide you from the po-po (police) or anything else that falls under prison time.   You see, the way my life is set up, I’m destined for something that calls for me to stand above foolishness and I don’t have time to do prison runs.  Sorry boo boo.

 

Yes, I will have your back if we are struggling together but working towards greater.  Yes, I will help you provide for our family and yes; I will motivate and push you to be the man God has called you to be.

 

The reason this post is close to my heart is not because we have women hiding behind the guise of loyalty to be stupid for men who often times don’t’ know the true meaning of commitment, but, because of the young girls who see this type of behavior and think its okay.  They use these women as examples of how women should conduct themselves and how men should love women.

 

This type of thinking or behavior is churning out a generation of girls who think its okay to hold their boo’s guns or drugs for him.  It’s okay to jeopardize your future in the name of love and to take a charge to keep your boo from going to jail.  It’s okay to accept whatever some no-good man throws your way all in the name of love.  You know why?  Because she saw her mama’s, auntie, cousins, sister do it.  She thinks that having hood credibility for being a down chick (ride or die) will set her apart from other girls, granting her a lifetime of love and loyalty.   She is surprised to learn that in fact, this path will only offer her a lifetime of trouble and heartache.

 

We have to do better.  We have to show better.  We have a whole generation of girls watching us.  They are watching us to see what a real woman is.  They are watching us to see what real love is.  Are you going to be the example of what to do or a statistic?

 

 

I’ve often been told that I’m a “square” for my way of thinking.  A “square” is someone who likes to follow the rules and usually lives within the guidelines of the law.  You know what I have to say to that?  “Thank you lord for making me a sturdy, solid square instead of a wayward, no direction having circle.”  What does a circle do?  Roll, anyway the wind blows it.  What does a square do?  Stay solid, planted firmly in its spot and stable.  I’d rather be known as that stable solid chick as opposed to being the crazy chick that has no direction and doesn’t know whether she’s coming or going.

 

God put us here to make an impact.  What impact is you making by being so and so’s ride or die chick?  What impact are you making by being loyal to someone who doesn’t even see your worth and will probably never make you his wife?

 

 

Be the odd “square” out of the bunch.  Show the younger generation what real women are about.  Go after your goals and dreams and be the inspiration the younger generation looks to as an example of how to step into your destiny.  Your destiny is not to be a “ride or die chick” but to be a virtuous woman.  If you don’t know what that entails, look it up.

 

After reading this, are you still a “ride or die chick?”  Are you a circle or a square?  Tell us what you think about this post and on which side of the road do you stand and why?

 

 

Be bold, be great, be EMPOWERED!

 

Co-Founder

Kendra

If you know a little girl between the ages of 10-17 in or around the Nashville, TN area that could use some positive role models, contact us and tell us all about her.

 

 

 

 

 

I Am Not My Hair

“Look at what you be in, hair weaves like Europeans, fake nails done by Koreans”

Three weeks ago, I decided that I was going to cut every last strand of my hair.  Keep in mind, that straightened, my hair stops at the middle of my back and being of African-American descent, once cut, it takes one powerful act of God just to get an inch of it back.  Obviously, on this particular day, I hadn’t put much thought into all that.   What actually was going through my head was, ”Why would anyone want this? Hair is so over-rated, it’s too expensive to maintain and I am so damn tired of the upkeep.”  I detested my hair and that morning I was more than determined to get it off my head.  So the very next day, I called up my beautician, made a same day appointment, went into the shop, boldly sat down in the chair and..

I digress…

Right here is where I’m supposed to get all holier than thou and break out in some soulful India Arie song about how much I love my entire entity but right here, I’m going to tell you the truth.  I always say the truth is the only concept that has not been tried.  The truth is, what we as a culture need to share more of so that we can understand that our thoughts and opinions are not only our own. The truth is what we need in order to progress.  Now that I got that off of my chest, I will proceed.

The very next day, I called up my beautician, made a same day appointment, went into the shop, boldly sat down in the chair and the moment those silver pointy scissors came at my head, I freaked out!  I’m not ashamed to say that it took an entire 2.5 seconds either.   I was beyond petrified about losing my hair and the reason I was afraid was because I knew that I would be less appealing to this very superficial home we call America.  So sufficed to say, I was far from up for the challenge.

So, instead, I asked my beautician to hook me up with a really short Meagan Good quick weave. Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, “quick weave,” here is the definition: a quick weave is similar to a wig that women wear on their heads.  The hair is wrapped under a wig cap. The cap is placed on the head, and then the weave is glued on the cap in a circular direction.  Now that we got that cleared up, back to my story. “Thing” is what I called my quick weave.  This “thing” was painfully uncomfortable. It literally felt like a bunch of needles poking the circumference of my entire head but once I got past that and the itching, I thought that it looked amazing.

I was feeling myself and so that night I went out on the town, as I sometimes do. I thought that I looked fabulous, but then I noticed that I wasn’t getting the attention that I was accustomed to from the men folk.  I was even more surprised when I noticed that some of the same men, who usually try to holla at me, ignored me.  Instead, they were on the floor dancing with the Beyoncé’s. Now, I know that some of you are saying “ Well maybe that means your face ain’t that pretty” but I   would like to believe that I’m a seemingly attractive person with minimal issues. I don’t look in the mirror and see skinny when I’m fat or fat when I’m skinny nor do I have a distorted image of the real world so when I tell you that my appearance is slightly above average, take me for my word.

Martin Luther King said, “I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”  Our character is the only thing that sets us apart, makes us special, and makes us different from any other person. How can outer beauty be more important?  Does artificial enhancements or loving the outer more than the inner mean that you’re lacking in character?

I once believed that endorsing anything artificial meant that you were unfulfilled and that somewhere inside of you there lacked a certain level of depth, but as I get older, I realize that nothing is black or white. For our African American women, especially those with natural hair, sometimes sewing it up is simply more convenient. How else would you be able to sweat out your hair at the gym and go to work looking like you just stepped off the runway the next day?  And what about the women who had perfectly perky breast before children but because they wanted to be a really good mommy and breastfeed, they were left with saggy tata’s?  Their poor husbands/boyfriends, although they try to be supportive, they miss the ones that stood up. Is that man lacking of character?  On the other hand, look at thirty-eight year old Saved by the Bell star Lark Voorhies, who disfigured her face in an attempt to reach society standards of beauty even though she was beautiful enough. What about her? Is she lacking character?

What I decided after that night was to wear that “thing” for three more weeks simply because I needed to make a statement and if not to anyone else, then to myself.  That statement was no matter how harsh society was to me, it would not dictate my state of being. I would remain in my character, regardless of the direction that society traveled. Even though we may alter our appearance, at the end of the day, we are still perfectly imperfect creatures and there will always be things that we may want to change and that is quite okay. What is more important is that we believe in ourselves even when no one else will because that’s the true definition of loving yourself fully and completely.

Be yourself and do what makes you happy.  Don’t let what the world says is beautiful; embrace the beauty that God created you with.  If we have a world full of superficial people, how will we teach our children to be authentic to love their imperfect selves?  We are only given  this one life so be yourself and do what makes you happy. Discover  your own definition of beauty!

Be bold, be brave and be EMPOWERED!

BGE Co-Founder

Brooklyn

If you know a little girl between the ages of 10-17 in or around the Nashville, TN area that could use some positive role models, contact us and tell us all about her.

Be Better Not Bitter

“I can’t believe this is happening to me.”   Have you ever had a WTF moment?  You know one of those “WHAT THE FRUIT!”…. What? What did you think I meant?  Anyways-just one of those moments when you’re looking around at your situation and you don’t know how you got there or the purpose of it all.  I have those often.  I know I’m not the only one that has WTF moments daily, shoot, sometimes several times a day.

My biggest WTF moment happened almost 11 years ago.  It was January 31, 2003.  I had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy.  He was two months early but we were prepared for his early arrival since it was predetermined that he would probably make his appearance before his due date.  My boyfriend and I were told earlier in my pregnancy that our baby suffered from a birth defect called, Gastroschisis.  In simple terms, his abdomen did not form properly in the early stages of fetal development and this caused his intestines to protrude from his belly.  We were told that this would require surgery as soon as he was born to have this corrected.  No big deal, “cosmetic.”  I don’t know how being born with your insides hanging out is “cosmetic” but, okay.

I went with what the doctors were telling us.  I prepared for his birth the best I could.  You see at the time, I was 22 years old.  My boyfriend and I (now my husband) were not on the best of terms.  We were young and playing house without any rules.  We did not know what the heck we were doing at the time.  We already had a 1-year-old baby boy that we were struggling to take care of.  I did not need another baby, right?  That was my thought when I found out I was expecting my second child.  “Oh no, how did this happen?”  A stupid question to ask ones self when I knew good and darn well how it had happened, I just did not want to accept the irresponsibility on my end.

 

In spite of my first feelings of despair and hopelessness, I decided to use my sons impending birth as motivation to get on my grind.  You see what I meant earlier when I said we were playing house was just that, we wanted to be grown but were living in my mamas house. So to me we were playing house because we wanted all of the privileges with none of the responsibilities.  Needless to say, it was not working out in our favor.  I was so down and out because the picture of what my life was did not reflect the picture I painted as a little girl.  I had big dreams of becoming the next Oprah honey.  You could not tell my little brown self that Oprah was not my long lost aunt.  I made my siblings and friends play, “Talk Show” with me all the time.  I just knew I was the next big thing popping.

So how did I end up as 22 year old, unwed mother with 1.5 babies, no job, and a bleak future? Decisions. Sitting on my mothers couch one day watching another episode of, “Maury I’m 1 million percent sure he my baby daddy,” A commercial came on. You know, one of those commercials where there is a girl that looks like you (not really but one you can relate to her story).  She talks about how she was a single mother and she got the bright idea one day to go back to college to take some quick training to get a better job and then everything was flowers blooming and birds chirping.  So I decided to call the school that was being advertised.  Two days later I was enrolled into a 10-month paralegal program with hopes of working in field of law.  Not my original plan but I figured I could sacrifice my dreams to feed my babies.  I was starting to feel like I had some direction.  I was making progress towards being a grown woman.

A week after that, I got a part-time job, flipping burgers for a nearby burger shack.  At this point I’m like, “Yea, I got this.”  I begin to attend school by day and work by night.  My belly is getting bigger and my outlook brighter.  My boyfriend and I begin to see a turn in our situation.  We were able to get our own apartment and we were no longer playing house, we were real adults, or so we thought.  My boyfriend had picked up a second job at a sandwich spot right across from my burger joint.   Things were looking up. We had family and friends give us baby items, we even had enough to make a small nursery area for the baby.  We had clothes, diapers, and milk.  We were ready.  Then things started to take a different turn.

I lost my job.  A few days later I begin to have premature labor pains, which I brushed off as Braxton Hicks (false labor pains).  But then they became more consistent and very aggressive.  When I arrived at the hospital on January 30, 2003, I was told that I was in labor.  They tried for a day to stop the labor but my son was ready for his debut.  They prepared me for delivery and gave me shots of steroids to try to strengthen his lungs before birth.  On January 31, 2003 my beautiful baby boy was born.  He had a head full of hair and very powerful lungs.  I delivered him via cesarean section to prevent any unnecessary stress on his birth defect.   I did not get to hold my son because he was whisked away to surgery as soon as they got him cleaned up.  I got a brief glimpse of him before they took him away.

A week later he was in NICU but he was doing great.  The surgery had not been as simple as they expected because the amount of intestines formed outside of the abdomen was more then they expected.  We were told on February 10th that he had only one more surgery to go to have the remaining portion of his intestines put in place in his abdomen and then we would be preparing our little man for his recovery and his release from the hospital.  On February 13th after fighting for two days, my beautiful angel made his way back to heaven to be with our God.

Now you may be asking yourself, why did she have to tell that long and sad story?  What’s the purpose?  You see for many years I wondered why did God take my son from me?  Why me?  I was bitter.  I would not step inside of a church and I was holding on to anger that I had no place for.  That anger and that bitterness were starting to eat my soul.  I was not happy with my life. I was not able to live up to my full potential as a mother or even as a woman.  Even though I have accomplished so many great things since I lost my son:  I married my boyfriend.  I graduated from the paralegal program and even went on to obtain a Bachelors and Masters degree.  I have been blessed with two additional birth children and one bonus son that I have the pleasure of parenting with my husband.  In spite of all of those great things, I was harboring ill feelings towards God.  I felt like he shortchanged me.  He took something from me.

It was not until I realized the purpose of that moment in my life that I was able to accept it and heal.   You see, that young girl that I was at that time, I was not capable of being the mom that I am now.  I was young and overwhelmed.  I did not appreciate the blessing of life that was given to me.  I was worried about what people would think when they saw me with two young kids.  I was worried about being a statistic.  What God did is he gave me something awesome and then he took it away so that I could appreciate all of his blessings in all forms.  And even though I was angry at his decision to take my son, I understand the lesson in the trial.  Because he did that, I was able to accept and appreciate the blessing of being able to give life to two additional beautiful baby boys.  I did not care what people would think of me.  I did not care about being judged because I was a young mom.  None of that mattered.  God took my bitterness and used it to make me better.  I am a better mom today because God took my son.

I said all of that to say this, don’t let your past make you bitter.  I don’t care what your backstory is.  Don’t let what you been through determine where you go in life.  Let go of the negative, let go of your bitterness and let your purpose shine through.  Don’t be bitter be better.

Be bold, be brave and be EMPOWERED.

BGE Co-founder

Kendra

 

If you know a little girl between the ages of 10-17 in or around the Nashville, TN area that could use some positive role models, contact us and tell us all about her.

 

Reality Tv Is Not My Reality

For the first time in a very long time, I was abruptly awakened out of my sleep.  It wasn’t from the beautiful radiant array of light that greeted me through the cracks of my window shades like every other morning. No, not this morning, this morning I was awakened by a strong sense of sheer hopelessness. Hopelessness for a people, my people, who haven’t a single indication that the world around them is rapidly progressing and they are not even a part of it. Even as I’m writing this, I’m hesitant because I know that for many, these words will fall on deaf ears. Maybe only a few will even bother to read it and of those few only a handful will care. Today, I find myself tired… tired of always desperately advocating for a lost cause, for a lost generation of people who refuse to care about anything but Gucci, Jay –Z and materialistic gain.   I started to lay down my pen but then I was reminded of my daughter, your daughters and, for her, for them, I write until my voice is heard.

To my beautiful black sista’s;

My beautiful black woman, we are at one of the most crucial moments in our history.  Right now, we have to decide whether or not our ancestry will continue into a great legacy or die. If not now, then surely we will slowly fade away into the background.   As an advocate for women’s rights and empowerment for all women but especially those of African decent, I’ve considered so many different reasons why we are who we are as a people.   Is this regression owed to hundreds of years of dehumanization from the repetitive degradation and cruelty that we inherited from our ancestors who inherited it as their birthright?  Was it the construction of   ghettos, projects, and the liquor stores placed all around them?  I’ve argued that, maybe, it’s the lack of knowledge and opportunity that has been graciously silver spooned to the rest of society. Was it the   black man who had been the Achilles heel that wounded us forever internally? Or, was it the fathers or lack thereof?  Is it the media?  Because, on one side, they give us the Kobe Bryant’s, the Oprah‘s, and the Obama’s and on the other side they give us the neck rolling, wine glass-throwing, finger-pointing, angry black woman whose only aspiration is to tear each other down.   While we, in the middle, are called the invisible and involuntarily forced to the side, but of course not the Obama’s side because we are not rich or prestigious enough to sit with them.  Now, that’s how every black woman becomes  “angry” and why no one will ever know another kind of black woman exist.

So today, I beg the neck rollers, the twirler’s, and the weave throwers, to stop misrepresenting me. The media will have its field day without your help. It’s going to be hard, I know, because your struggle has been that real to you.  I am aware of the darkness that has consumed you almost every day of your life. I understand the need to get yours by any means necessary.  I’ve witnessed that level of desperation for myself, however; today I’m asking you to strive for higher. I’m asking that you unselfishly watch over my daughter whom you’ve never met while I watch over yours. As our grandmothers always said, “It takes a village.”    It is time that we move forward.  It is time that we take responsibility for our actions even when we know the cause was no fault our own. This is the time where we must show our daughters that “ twerking” is not a sport and that we deserve the utmost respect and adoration. It is time to fight for something other than what she said that you said and that we said. It is time to stop fighting each other and start fighting for a positive, more productive image to show for our little ones.   It’s time that we all stand up and stand for something that we can be proud of.  It’s time that we all are bold, brave, and empowered.

“Be the change that you want to see in the world.” Ghandi

Be brave, be bold, be EMPOWERED!

If you know a little girl between the ages of 10-17 in or around the Nashville, TN area that could use some positive role models, contact us and tell us all about her.

BGE Spotlight of The Week

For those who know of her and know some of her work, you’re probably saying to yourself, “why did they choose her?” Or, “she’s not empowered, she’s just a video chick.”  Before you judge the book, open it and reads it’s story.  Ever heard of the saying, don’t knock my glory if you don’t know my story?

At first glance you would think that she’s just another pretty face but what you probably didn’t know is that beauty is her brand.  Keyshia Ka’oir, formally known as Keyshia Dior, got her start as a video vixen.  She was introduced to the world after starring in the “Say Something” video along side hip-hop artist Timbaland and Drake.   Unlike a lot of video chicks, she did not stop at being your favorite video model.  She took her knack for fashion and makeup and her newfound popularity, and she flipped it into a multi-million dollar beauty and cosmetics empire.   She’s maintained that while video models have a negative image, she was able keep her integrity and professionalism intact while pursuing her goals.

The reason we have chosen Keyshia Ka’oir to be our very first BGE Spotlight pick, is because she embodies what it means to be empowered.  She is a woman on the move.  She did not settle for just being known as that chick in that video, she took her career in her hands and she has built an empire that has made her a mogul in an industry that is not dominated by many African American women.  She has broken barriers with her line of vibrant and colorful cosmetics.  She took something that has been done for years and did with it what no one has been able to do.  She gave us bright blue and yellow lipstick, and also the inspiration to wear them without shame.  She took her passion for makeup and beauty and turned into her reality.  She was bold enough to step out and take a risk and the return on her investment is paying off in high dividends.

She admits it was not an easy path to get to where she is today.  In Keyshia’s documentary, Building The Brand, she talks about losing her father and being a rebellious teenager.  She was getting into trouble and giving her mother a hard time.   She talks about how one day she realized the path she was headed down was not going to yield her a positive future and she changed it.  She decided to change her life and put her self on a more positive path.  Talk about taking your life into your hands.

Well, it looks like she has done just that.  She is lightning the path and setting the tone for young women out there who dream of creating their own brand or having their own cosmetics line.  She is showing them that they too, can be a beautiful woman and not have to depend on a man for their butter and bread.    That they can be young and successful by doing something that they love.  Don’t let nothing and no one hold you back from going after your dreams and accomplishing your goals.  She is showing young ladies that they too can be EMPOWERED.

Keyshia Ka’oir, we salute you and we say, thank you for stepping outside of the box and creating your own way.  Thank you for being the Queen that you are and giving little girls another strong, beautiful, intelligent and successful woman to look up to.

Thank you for being bold, being brave, and take your life into your hands.  Thank you for being EMPOWERED!

BGE Co-Founder

Kendra

 

If you would like to see Keyshia Ka’oir’s documentary, Building The Brand, click here.

To find out more about Keyshia Ka’oir, click here.

 

Do you know a little girl between the age of 10-17 in the Nashville, TN and surrounding areas who could use some help being empowered? Does she need motivation to go after her goals? Tell us all about her.  She may benefit from our BGE mentorship program.

Even in Pain you can be EMPOWERED

I came from the womb of my mother but for a long time I was not my mother’s child. In my mind, a mother was supposed to smell of hot apple pie, Sunday dinners, and Chanel perfume. A mother took care of you while you were sick, rubbed lotion on your back and Johnson’s baby oil all over your body after a warm bubble bath. Most importantly, a mother’s job was to protect her offspring.

This was far from truth of who my mother was. My mother left us when were very little, even though I laid eyes on her every day.   I was a little girl. Way too little to defend myself, and she failed to provide me with the one thing, the only thing I needed most, protection.  I longed for that one thing so badly.  I needed her to protect me from the monster that lurked behind the crevices of every door I opened, every day of my young life.  I needed to know that he would no longer be able to hurt me. The monster, that some people call “Dad”.

He was not my dad.  See, in my mind, a Dad was to pick his little girl up, sit her on his knee, and tell her a bedtime story as she fell asleep. A dad was supposed to twirl his daughter around the kitchen floor while the residue of oil and sweat from a hard days work lingered around the room. A dad was supposed teach his daughter how to swim and pick her up when she fell off her bike for the very first time. This was not my dad.

The first memory I have of this man is when I was about three years of age.  I remember him wrapping his hands around my neck and chocking me until I almost passed out.  I was only three. I can remember going to school with bumps and bruises from him hitting me like I was a grown man of his size and stature. He always said it was “for the things I was thinking about doing.” I remember at eight years of age, he pulled out loaded gun, handed it to me and begged me to shoot him. I like to say that I grew up in a war zone right in the middle of the suburbs of Katy, Texas.  Who would’ve thought that God’s plan was bigger than anyone could have imagined. God’s plan was bigger than that monster because somehow that little girl made it!

To my little girls who read this, who are struggling with anything; abuse, bullying, depression or negativity. If you feel like no one is listening, I hear you. I know that you’re out there and you feel alone.  Just know that you have a soldier, fighting for you.  I will always be here fighting for you.  If you’re scared, please message me and I will do everything in my power to save you. I know you’re wondering “why me”… Why was I dealt this hand? What did I do to   deserve all this pain, and honestly, I don’t have the answers. I wish that I could tell you I did.  That some magical being came down from the heavens one day and told me the reasons some people suffer more than others.

What I can tell you is that there is nothing different in me than what’s in you.  There is nothing different about Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, or Michelle Obama.   We were all designed the same way in God’s image.  Do you know what that means?  That means, if we did it, you can too!  God has a plan that is so much greater than the one we have for ourselves. Daughters, the day will come when you will be in control of your own destiny.  If you would just hold on especially when it hurts the most, keep your head up and keep pushing, you will reach your GREATER.

Be bold, be brave, and take your life into your hands. Be EMPOWERED!

BGE Co-Founder

Brooklyn

 

If you are a young girl reading this and you can identify with some of the hurt and pain described here, you’re not alone.  Contact us today and we will reach out to you. We will help you get the guidance you need to overcome and be the empowered Queen God has destined you to be.

Do you know a girl between the age of 10-17 in the Nashville, TN and surrounding areas who could use some help coming out of a bad situation? Does she need to be empowered? Tell us all about her.  She may benefit from our BGE mentorship program.

 

Coming Out Of The Fog To Greater

Have you ever been in fog?  Have you ever been in a Fog?  Yes, they are two separate situations.  If you’ve been infog, this means you’ve literally been outside in foggy elements.  If you’ve been in a fog then this means you’ve been in situations where the outcome was unclear or you’ve been unclear about something be it a decision, life, career or anything you’ve been unclear about.

 

I’ve been in plenty foggy situations, literally and figuratively.  Most recently I’ve been in a figurative foggy state of mind.  I say this because I’ve been experiencing some hardships in life lately.  Don’t feel bad for me, stuff happens.  Life happens to everyone, if you’re not going through something in life, I’m afraid to tell you my dear but you have a case of dead.

 

It does not matter how rich you are or how beautiful you think you are, everybody experiences hardships in life at some point.  It is what it is.  You can ride the wave or let the wave ride you.  Just know that if you choose the latter, the outcome looks very bleak.

 

On the way to work one morning, it was literally foggy outside.  At first the dreary weather had a negative impact on my mood.  I was grumpy.  Here it is, 5:30 AM, I’m having to move around and get ready for my day when I could have been laying comfortably in my bed.  I was complaining about the weather, the bad drivers, even how stupid the “Strawberry Letter” was on the Steve Harvey Morning Show.  Ya’ll know what I’m talking about, it was one of those, “I’m great with a suckey mate,” days.  So anyway, I’m in rush hour traffic and all of a sudden the fog begins to clear and the sun begins to shine through the clouds.  The clearer the fog got, the better my attitude got.  Once I was completely out of the fog I had a revelation, “no matter how foggy your situation might seem, God has already cleared a path for you.”  I can do the Holy Ghost dance right now just thinking about what that means.  ß—-Insert dance here.

 

You see I was letting the foggy outlook dictate how my morning was going.  Instead of looking at it as a blessing, because it was, the fact that God woke me up to be able to see another foggy day was a blessing within itself.  Instead of reveling in that, I was letting what looked like a dreary day get me down.

 

How many of you have been in life situations and you felt like it was never going to get better?  I’ll wait… No takers, okay let me try again.  How many of you have ever been going through something and it looked like you were about to lose but right when you were about to give up, throw up your hands and give up the fight, God gave you the victory?  I know I struck a chord with that one.

 

You see what God showed me that day was that he is in total control.  If we would just trust him, he will show us the way through the Fog.  It might look dreary right now but the fog always goes away and the sun shines through the clouds.

 

Don’t let your foggy days out weigh your sunny days.  Be thankful for whatever trials and tribulations you might be going through or your may to go through in the future.  It lets you know two things:

 

  • You’re alive!  Thank God for this right?  The alternative sucks.
  • God is preparing you for GREATER.

 

Did you catch that? The thicker your fog, the GREATER your victory.  Think about it, all of those really bad things that you’ve been through in your past: abuse, neglect, poverty, addiction or whatever the struggle has been, prepared you to be the person you are today reading this post.

 

If you are going though the fog right now, stop right where you are and give God praise because, baby, you’re headed for GREATER.

 

Don’t forget to reach back and help somebody else up once you get there.  You’re only as great as the last person you helped along the way.

 

Be bold, be brave, and take your life into your hands. Be EMPOWERED!

BGE Co-Founder

Kendra Garcia

 

 

Do you know a  girl between the age of 10-17 in the Nashville, TN area who could use some help coming out of a foggy situation? Does she need to be  empowered?  Tell us all about her. She may benefit from our BGE mentorship program.  

 

 

Join The Olivia Pope Movement & Empower Yourself

A while ago, I walked in a restaurant and as I sat down. I couldn’t help but to notice a couple sitting in the booth directly in front of me. There was nothing particularly special about this couple. There were no remarkable traits or anything seemingly revolting, in fact, the only reason they caught my attention at all was because she was white and he was black.   My first thought was,” let it pass,” but just when I started to do so, I noticed two more interracial couples in my peripheral. Now, I want to tell you that this did not irritate me in the least,  I also want to tell you that I wasn’t at all annoyed, but what I’m really going to tell you is the truth because that’s the only way that I know we as culture can progress.  What I felt that day in that moment was broken.  My heart had did a triple somersault right out of my chest onto concrete pavement and I was subdued by an overwhelming sense of sadness and not just for me, a single black woman, but for my beautiful, intelligent black daughter who will one day, if change does not occur, experience that same feeling.  As I sat there in that restaurant contemplating my daughters existence, my existence, what will be, what hasn’t been, and staring at them relentlessly, I had an awakening, an Epiphany or as Oprah would say, an  “Ah-Ha moment”. …  Why had I just given ten minutes of my energy (myself) to six people who will never know or care about my daughter or myself?  Ten whole minutes!

 At that moment, I could not answer why in 2013; I was still so deeply appalled by interracial relationships when they are as common as giving birth?  In fact there is only one thing that’s more common in this world and that is change.  So why is it that we sista’s have the hardest time adjusting? Why have we allowed ourselves to be trapped staring at change instead of evolving with it?   Why are we the ones who are struggling with altering our train of thought?  It is past time for our awakening.  Waste no more time on the black man who will never give a second thought about you, because he is too busy enjoying his life. The stares, the whispering and the constant unwarranted attention only help feed the fire. So, instead of feeding it, I triple dare you to try this… next time you see him out with his woman, compliment her on her shoes or really shock them both and compliment him on his woman. It’s time to show them that we are much bigger than what we’ve been. Steve Harvey said it best “ you can either be Big or Small but you can’t be both at the same time. “

  I can remember my brother, who is notorious for his love of the opposite race saying that his preference was  “Vanilla Ice Cream.” At that time, I wanted to punch him in his freaking face!  After all, how can a black man who grew up in a black household with a black mother and so much soul, PREFER “vanilla ice cream”? It was mind boggling at the time, but in retrospect I respect him because the only reason he knew that vanilla was his favorite was because he had tried different flavors. How many sista’s can say the same?    It is time to evolve. In 2013, I invite all sista’s to take part in the “Olivia Pope” Movement.  I invite you to open your mind and the minds of your daughters.  We must teach them that just like everyone else, they are more than capable and entitled of loving and being loved by anyone; black, white, Puerto Rican or Asian.   There is no book or law that has ever been written that’s say’s that sista’s have to be with brotha’s or brotha’s have to be with sista’s. In laymen’s terms, African American women must date only African American men. The   world is much bigger than what we see and it’s time that we allow ourselves to look around in it. Find the places in this world and in this country where black woman are revered as amazing. Open your mind to that white man around the corner who is waiting to swallow up a beautiful mocha chocolate latte. Participate in the movement, instead of hating on it.   What’s your favorite flava?  Ladies,  the train is going to take off  with or without you.  Will you jump aboard or will you be left in the tracks.

 

Be bold, be brave and take your life into your hands.  Be EMPOWERED!

BGE Co-Founder

Brooklyn

 

 

Black Girls Empowered!

Uplifting and empowering girls into queens

This old man once told me that the only solution for our youth was “total destruction.” His belief was that our inner-city youth were so far broken, that the only way to reverse the effects of their “ignorance” was to blow the world up so that they can have an opportunity to start all over again. He felt that slavery had been so detrimental to the growth and progression of Blacks and that this would be the only way to start everyone off on an equal playing field.  

After many years of pondering that one statement, I finally understand what that old man meant and the desire that he had to see change in our youth. I believe, however, that there is a different solution to the problem that is now our future generation.  I believe that the power to make change lies within in knowledge, which creates self – awareness and self-esteem. I believe that feeling knowledgeable means feeling comfortable having a voice. We at BGE believe that when there is power behind what you say, you will feel important enough to speak out loud.   You have an heir about you and you hold your head up and stick your chest out.

Black Girls Empowered is a non-profit organization, designed to enlighten the minds of inner-city girls by giving them the knowledge, skills and cultural experiences they need to get to the next level in their lives. 

Statistics show that the majority of minority women hate themselves with the highest percentage being African American women. Self-hatred is the biggest reason so many women go down unconventional paths such as: video girls, strippers, urban model and other self-degrading paths.  These women are seeking attention and looking to fill a void that came from bits and pieces of every where. Most of the time, these are women who came from broken homes and from poor families.  They didn’t have the privilege of learning the basics of self-esteem.  They were not given the keys to a family business or even the keys to a college dorm.  They had to make it through life on the lessons they learned on their own.   Having little exposure to the knowledge, skills, and tools needed to be successful, they are lost in a world that will eat them up and spit them out, not thinking twice about where you end up.

Where did this all start? We believe that these may be traits that have been handed down from generation to generation.  Studies show that the first lessons you learn as a child start at home.  If your home life is bad your chances of overcoming your circumstances are lowered by 50%.  The other way young women measure their self-worth is based off of what they see.  If you don’t have any positive/successful female role models in your life and the only thing you see portrayed in the media are seemingly beautiful flawless women showing their bodies and doing unfathomable things, your views can become skewed. 

We at Black Girls Empowered believe that we can change those skewed views and turn them around.  We believe that knowing better is doing better and we want to show our young inner-city girls that they have a chance to be great and to be queens.  We believe in leading by example.  Children do what they see not what you say.  So if they see you doing things that are not positive or conducive for personal growth, they will mimic those behaviors whether you tell them to or not. 

Our goal is to show them that they are wonderful, beautiful and valued.  We want to show them that they can overcome their circumstances no matter what they see themselves as being right now.   The number of obstacles you overcome on the way up determines the measure of how great you can be. 

At Black Girls Empowered, we want to give our young women the tools of understanding themselves as women and also understanding their futures and how successful they can possibly be. 

We plan to do this in a series of lessons and experiences that span from life lessons to cultural lessons.  We plan to teach seminars on life and finances.  We plan to take a look back and journey through black history.  We plan to infuse cultural experiences of learning other languages, eating foods from different cultures and other experiences outside of what they may be accustomed to.  We at BGE plan to show them the world and how big it is and also how powerful they can be as women.  We will do this by introducing them to other minority women who may have faced some of the same challenges as them but overcame them and are now successful women.  We want them to know that they are more than their bodies.  They have beautiful minds and souls. 

Our mission at BGE is to enlighten the minds of young woman by showing them that they are valued, worthy and they empowered. 

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